The inner feminist is coming out (nsfw?)

So recently, I shared a video on my private facebook page.

What are your thoughts? For your I, the video is graphic and some may be sensitive to the video. 

I cringed and laughed all while shaking my fist. This video was gross, sad, hilarious (at a certain part) and all true at the same time. 

Plastic Surgery Animation

Were you thinking this was "pornographic," "offensive," or "inappropriate?"

I had a conversation with a male friend of mine who shares my same religious persuasion soon after it was posted. This is how it went:

"not critizing except the part about the naked woman post on facebook"

"What was wrong with that?"

"naked women=pornography

pornography = bad.... its something we're commanded to stay away from in the church"

"That's not really pornography. It's a message about how messed up beauty ideals are in our society and how women feel pressured into looking a certain way."

"so have her wear a full one peice swim suit... or jogging clothes"

"I think that would take away from the message. The intent wasn't to arouse anyone. But, hey, we can all make the choice to watch or not watch."

"sure we can make the choice....by why is a friend putting a friend in the position to have to make the choice?"

Instead of avoiding the image, or not watching the video, or unsubscribing from my newsfeed, I shouldn't have to make someone else choose, the person who made the video should have covered her up, etc.

Please, if/when you comment, be kind. If we share our ideas, let's remember that not all of us feel the same way; and that's ok. If you have anything negative to say about my friend, please keep that to yourself. He is a kind man. 

Anywho, I am unsure of which direction this will go but, here we go. 

Under the logic that a naked woman (I believe the conversation would be the same if it were a man) is pornographic the following images would be considered as such:

It sure would be hard to learn to be culturally sensitive, get educated, or appreciate are with out seeing some skin at some point

As a person who has seen pornography in the past, been in a relationship where it was encouraged that the man "try before you buy" and having one of my best friends go through a divorce because of a porn addiction, I strongly disagree that the video shared is indeed, pornographic. I am not here to discuss pornography or whether it is right or wrong. Instead, I'd like to talk about some other things.

Without words, the video has managed to show how women feel sometimes that they have to change in order to fit in or feel beautiful. Most of the time it isn't even for ourselves. It's for the people who create and force certain standards on us.

I discussed this with a friend and her response was "So, what he's trying to say is that he can't control his own thoughts?" Yes, I can agree that they way we dress, talk, and act can and does affect others. Ultimately, though, it is up to the individual to be able to control our own thoughts an actions.

We are all beautiful and special creatures. We are made attractive to each other for a reason. Because of this, wonderful things can happen. Because of this, not so wonderful things can happen.

Because people can't control the "madness" or the "improprieties" that would ensue at bare-breasted women, they have to always remain clothed. While men can freely do so themselves. Because some people can't control themselves and choose to view the body of the opposite gender solely as a sexual object instead of what it is: a body; that choice is then taken away from another person.

When we respect our own bodies as well as others, so many fantastic things can happen. Just look around you and see the great things each body is capable of doing! I am amazed every day.

When the body is disrespected and we lose control of our emotions, terrible things can happen:
*I had a friend live with us for a short period of time because her step-father was molesting her.
*I had friends that grew up and their mother would have sex with the father in order to avoid having her children beaten.
*I have had a friend who was raped by someone she knew and trusted.
*I had a friend with special needs who was taken advantage of and was impregnated at least twice, resulting in abortions

Those women all had choices taken away from them and are scarred from the actions of someone else who could not control their mind or their bodies. It was not the women's fault. "Well, she shouldn't have been alone." "She shouldn't have gone home with him." "She should have never married him." "She shouldn't have flirted." "She shouldn't have worn that outfit."

A more basic example is when my car got broken into and my wallet was stolen. My coach at the time said, "You shouldn't have left your wallet in the car." My response? "Me leaving my wallet in the car is no excuse for someone else to break the law and rob me." Same thing applies here.

Here's a link to an interesting article from Women You Should Know  about what is "acceptable" to post on the internet despite trying to post something body-positive.

Another interesting article was this one:  Plus Size Bikini This brought up a valid point about how most of the gawking and teasing about her two piece was from men. Later on, her boyfriend wore her dress (to stay warm) and got even worse reactions. A woman can wear pants but, a man cannot wear a dress? I understand that there was a time when pant-wearing was unacceptable but, why is it that wearing a dress for men has yet to catch up? What is wrong with being or looking like a woman?

Why do our bodies have to be policed so much? Why must we be shamed for them? Why is it that when something goes wrong, it is the woman's fault for "dressing like that?" Instead of changing the way we think about things or the behavior of those who oppress others because of their lack of will-power, we should just"cover up." Guess what? Under all those clothes...there's a naked body. *gasp!

Now, I do have my own set standards of "modesty." They are probably different than yours. Maybe they are more "extreme"or way more "relaxed" than you are accustomed to. I will be very clear in that I choose to dress and act a certain way according to my own reasoning. Yes, they comply with church standards but, I made the choice myself. My parents don't tell me how to dress, my church does not force me to dress a certain way, and I certainly do not dress a certain way in an attempt to please other people."

I will not attempt to persuade another person to compromise their standards and I do not purposely try to offend others when expressing myself or my opinions. We still have a long way to go when trying to be equals with each other. We are on the right track though, I believe that having an open mind, things can change for the better. It is important to be aware of other people's feelings and standards without trying to compromise our own. Let us try to be more educated. Education is so important when making societal leaps and bounds. Let us all take a minute to reflect on ourselves and where we can improve. Are we oppressing ourselves and others? If there is no willingness to change, can there at least be a willingness to understand?