I was reflecting on my truly last heavy day that I have had and it was mid-august. Just a couple of weeks after I heard the news of my suspension. The tension and emotions were still running wild. I was getting prepared for the World Championships and so I was in pretty good shape. I had already pulled off the team and we decided to keep on our training schedule. At least that's how I remember it.
Anyway, at this time I had serious concerns that my career was over. There went my Olympic prospects, there went my chances for American/Pan American Records, there goes my hopes for medals at the World Championships or Olympic Games. I remember telling myself, "Well, if this is the last time I ever lift, I better give it everything I got because, I may never have this chance ever again.
I started snatching and things were going really well so I deviated from the program and just lifted and lifted. I smoked all of my weights including this American Record attempt snatch at 129 kgs. After I did that, I went out to the picnic table outside the gym and cried my eyes out. Then I started to get ready for clean and jerks.
Clean and jerks were going awesome as well! I was super pumped and I was doing a sufficient job of controlling my emotions. I clean and jerked 155 and I went for 160 to break the American Record total in training. Well, I cleaned it and just missed the jerk behind as I was recovering my feet. After clean and jerks I went into the shower room and sobbed.
I composed myself yet again to squat 227.5 kgs to break the 500 lbs barrier I've been working on. This time I didn't cry. I was too tired both physically and emotionally.
If this was the last day of my entire lifting career, I'd want to make it memorable. I wanted to see what I could truly do. One of the lessons I have learned through this experience is to not take these types of days for granted.
I still have a lot of work to do. There are work outs and reps I have missed. Some that can never be made up again but, the least I can do is try to give it my 100% the next time I come in and try to stay on track. Are the Olympics still in the cards for me? Who knows? But, I am training my butt off and I am preparing for it just like I did the last time around.
You never know if you'll ever be in a situation like mine, or get injured, or have to work so much that yo have to sacrifice training, or meet the person of your dreams and want to move on, or whatever comes along your path. Your athletic career is very short comparatively to the rest of your life and you never know if there's going to be a tomorrow so I advise us all to never train like there's going to be.