Lets face it, we all have them.
After moving up a weightclass for the American Open I've been noticing a lot of changes with my body. (a special thanks to all the pictures that got posted after) My hips are bigger my butt could literally have it's own area code.. and my legs arent as tight and fit compared to 58kg me. I'm more jiggle and puff than lean and hard. When i look in the mirror now i see a body like Khloe Kardashian: THICK. Nothing against KK i think she's amazing and beautiful it's just i'm not used to it. I have always felt pretty comfortable in my skin until, now.
I realize i'm in a sport that favors the big bottomed sr mix alot girls and im not ashamed of it at all. The problem for me is seeing my body change so much. When i get out of the shower and look in the mirror i'm like damn i make beyonce look anorexic.
When the pictures of Americans got posted online and recent training videos on Youtube i got a lot of mixed comments. Some people say i look fantastic, and some say i look fat. That bugs me. Maybe because i notice the differences in my body also or maybe just because i'm a girl and noone likes hearing negative things about themselves. Sometimes i feel like i'm one pound from fat camp and i'm a french fry away from my coaches blindfolding me, kidnapping me and sending me off to Curves. (you know the gym) I feel like my body just forgot how to pronounce the word metabolize. I think it's ok to feel like that sometimes.
Whatever anyone else thinks about me doesnt matter i still have to put on my singlet and walk on stage in front of hundreds of people.. alone. (and hundreds more watching the live feed online) No one is perfect. Some people like the victoria's secret celery diet girls, and some people like me and a handful of other lifters across the world prefer some meat on our bones. So, Love me or hate me but this is what i look like and if it makes me an Olympian than i can live with a little bit of cellulite.
American Open is the best i've ever felt at a competition physically and mentally in my entire lifting life. I wouldnt give that feeling, the feeling of strength up for a few kilos. If Gold means i dont fit in bikini bottoms than gosh darnit i wont be wearing a bathingsuit for a little while.
DO NOT let anyone dictate how you feel about yourself. Everyones entitled to their own opinion even when their opinion is dumb. Love what you got.