As i'm sitting in my room on my off day (in between how i met your mother episodes) i'm texting Aimee talking about training/competition and the emotional part of it. You know like what makes us strong mentally. I've learned i have a few weaknesses that arent even related to weightlifting and some how effect practices and how i recover. It's so frustrated to me.. like for real though my ghosts that haunt my dreams and my emotional baggage adds weight to the lifts sometimes. All the crap that comes out when i'm tired or PMSing becomes a full on blair witch project in my brain. Aimee as my unpaid psycologist tells me i need to accept the fears as balloons and let go of the string. Easier said than done right? I go in the gym and when i'm warming up i'm all like yeah, screw you past look at me now! then 4 minutes later with 35kgs i'm a crumbling mess like wait what's a snatch? I didnt even see how much it was messing with me until the fits and the tears took up more time than the PR's and the running man after them. Thats a no go bro bro. i realized i needed to let go of these damn lead balloons. I asked two women in my life i look up to a lot (Aimee, and Carissa Gump) and they both said to focus on me on the things i can control. Member in the mocking jay (the third hunger games) how they were all like let go of the past and live for the future you cant change it and thinking about it 24/7 would literally drive you mad? well, not like i lost my whole city and my family to a war or anything but it does get hard to get past the things your dwell on and obsess over and over replaying in your head things you could've done or would've. So all of you as my witnesses i'm letting go of the balloons and it may take awhile for them to float away but i'm standing my ground and watching them go. I'm ready to make new memories that arent painful. Everyone has a story. I want everyone to see that fear doesn't have to run your life. Lets all have the courage to stand tall, overcome and be strong. Life blows you around like wind but it's ok to let go and see where it takes you.
anywho i'm listening to skyscraper by demi lovato now thinking about my heavy day tomorrow ready to never look back and to not let anyone or anything get in my way of my dreams
~fearlessly, J
About Us
- Sarah and Jessica
- Jessica is our 2016 Olympic Hopeful and Sarah is our 2012 Olympian in Weightlifting. We're setting out to be "Pretty Strong" and we encourage you to do the same.
2 comments:
Love your blog Jess! Always getting to the point. You don't sugar coat your feelings you write honestly and open. This one made me think about what hell is! Hell in life is being emotionally attached to something that is causing you pain and not being able to escape the cause of the pain! If you are like me you try to solve your problems in your own way. I usually fail and it causes me to stress. I know that you know putting your problems in balloons and releasing them will not make them go away, but it does start the recovery process. Liberate yourself begin rejecting any limiting thoughts that are under-mining your self-esteem and success! WE CREATE OUR OWN POSSIBILITIES AND IMPOSSIBILITIES! You are Pretty Strong Jess and you have a lot of people that care about you!
Love your openness. In my mind, strength is admitting to flaws. Only the insecure try to portray themselves as super humans.
I think every lifter has it like this, but most of them would never admit to it, because they're not as mentally strong as you. We all have our stories, but we must focus on the good things in life, and what we can control, and try to be present in the now.
Love from Norway
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