Where you been, Sarah?

     Ok, so obviously, I have not been very active on the interweb the past few months and it all has to do with my inability to compete. Sad face. I know you're all thinking, "Man, I miss Sarah. Where has she been my whole, past, few months?"
     The answer is, "Nunya. Nunya business." Not really. I'll try and be brief to catch you up. I'm so glad I have more liberties to speak now than I did before. A lot has happened and not a lot has happened all at the same time.
     Fighting this whole thing has been the most stressful situation I have ever been. I was trying to find a lawyer/a place to live/work/endocrinologists/exercise physiologists/etc.... pretty much anything that would help me. I was suddenly hundreds of dollars in debt with no income. I thought my career was over, I thought I had no where to turn, I thought I would be hated especially because this would seem contrary to everything I had worked so hard for and preached about.These past few months have been full of work, stress, anger, sleeplessness, and tear-filled days and months. All of this going on while trying to train, live, and act like "everything is normal" because you have no idea how things are going to turn out. Training three times a day and crying every training session was not conducive to getting all my business taken care of and taking care of my business was not conducive to having good training.
    I was initially not supposed to return to the gym for three months. I had to make the decision whether or not to stay in Az for that three month time period. I originally had a living and training situation set up at home for the 3 months but, I ended up deciding to stick it out in Az and try to work things out with my coach. I got a seasonal job in retail unloading the trucks three days a week and moved in with my friend, her husband, and four kids and told myself to stay through the end of the year just to give more time for everything to cool down.The call to come back to the gym never came.  
     My living situation and job has enabled me to pay off my debts and start saving for the next phase. I briefly considered quitting but, there are things I have yet to accomplish. I also hate the idea of letting something like this dictate how my career ends. I will retire and quit on my own terms; not these. I would also hate to leave this sport on a bad note. I am a good person and I have untapped potential. I don't want to have any regrets. I still have all of my goals to accomplish, which include making the 2016 Olympic Team. I have been doing my best to get in training but, it has definitely taken a hit. I didn't work with any other lifting coaches in the area out of loyalty to my coach. Instead, I started throwing hammer with a friend of mine so I could do something physical 3 days a week plus lift with her at her small gym. I've been lifting less in one week than I did in one day when I was in shape. On some days, my motivation waivers. I get sad, I get angry, I get hopeful, and I feel like I've got my whole life and career ahead of me. It's strange to me.
      My philosophy lately has been, "Work hard, make the sacrifice, and go!" With that on my mind, I have done a lot with the little I have and I feel confident that the future holds great things for me. Currently, I have been speaking with a my potential new coach, trying to work out a living situation near him, and get a work transfer. My plan is to say "sayonara" to Az and get back in shape so I can hit the ground running 8-8-15.