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Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Fear.

Sometimes its easy to pretend you're stronger than you really are. Like at night when all the lights are out and you can hear every snap and whistle from outside and you convince yourself that its not a mean giant or a goblin. Just kidding i know a giants arent real...but what happens during the day when the suns out and all your friends are around you but you're crippled with fear? Maybe it's from seeing someone you haven't seen in a really long time but you know that ended sour. Maybe it's because you're really clumbsy and your crush is totally at work today and you're scared you'll totally spill coffee down his shirt or bend and snap his nose off. (at least you got your eyebrows done yesterday). If you're like me most of your fear happens in the gym. I'm not scared of dropping 157kg clean on my knees or forgetting how to use my arms actively in the snatch and one breaking off mid lift i'm scared of failure.


When you're 5 and you're scared of monsters your mom will assure you 'dont worry pumpkin theres no bats in the closet so obviously there wont be a dragon under the bed' and you feel all better after you hide under the covers and wrap them around your body as tight as your little hands can hold. I cant really hide in the gym. I mean, i could but that would be dumb. Greg would be like...'why am i wasting my time? also, she totally needs to get her eyebrows done.' When i cant get the thoughts of failure out of my head and all i see is myself disappointing the people i want the most in the world to make proud (including myself) I go through my check list.

1. your tattoo says faith you idiot
2. look around all these people love you and believe in you
3. i wonder whats happening in twitter land
4. your other tattoo says dare to be fearless you idiot
5. maybe i should get pink highlights in my hair
6. even Taylor swift has a song named fearless maybe i should sing it right now, out loud
7. shut up you idiot, stop thinking go have fun


usually, that pretty much solves the problem. you should probably try it too and let me know how it works for other kinds of fears like killing the spider thats been in your bathroom for two days but dont have the courage or the balls to.

~fearlessly, J
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3 comments:

  1. Vanessa GarciaOctober 23, 2012 at 4:34 PM

    I love it. I am afraid of failing all of the time, partly because so many people I love are supporting me and giving up so much that I do not want to let them down. Every time I miss an attempt I feel like the pressure is one. Quicksand is one of my biggest foes because it is hard to recover when things start going downhill. I definitely love that you remind yourself to have fun. I often forget that lifting is fun. Sometimes you just have to think about the little girl who loved the sport and lift for her.

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  2. Sarah and JessicaOctober 24, 2012 at 10:38 PM

    exactly! sometimes you just have to walk outside and sing yourself a justin beiber song regroup and come back in and forget that it hurts, forget that your tired and snatch cuz it feels good ;)

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  3. DonnaNovember 3, 2012 at 6:32 AM

    My favorite: "Fear is a Liar." I'm an over-thinker. Once I miss a lift or have a bad portion of a tri, it's sometimes harder for me to shake it off, stop over-thinking, and just have fun. I try now to think about how thankful I am that I can do stuff like this, because there was a time I couldn't. Sometimes it helps put things in perspective... sometimes it doesn't. But always, when I can't snap myself out of the funk, I always regret it later, and who wants to feel regret for something you can change in your mind, right? Great post!

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